“Tonight!” yelled my 2yo. “The last night?”, my 5yo proposed.
Delayed gratification is a skill that takes time to develop.
Not giving into your first impulse but exercising self-control for a long term gain.
It’s not easy.
The famous marshmallow studies by psychologist Mischel in the 60s an 70s produced hilarious clips of toddlers trying to resist the urge to eat the marshmallow in front of their nose with the prospect of obtaining a second sweet if the marshmallow was still uneaten upon the return of the researcher.
But subsequent longitudinal studies by Mischel with various colleagues showed the really interesting results.
The toddlers who were better able to resist the marshmallow-temptation, arew up to be more successful at school and work later on in life.
Delayed gratification is linked to higher self-confidence, self-reliance and self-efficacy, greater social responsibility, and less aggression and frustration.
And you can train your self-control muscle! The more you do it, the stronger the neural pathway in the brain becomes for this new habit, and the easier it will become.
Marshall offers a strategy: managing your cool/hot systems.
The hot system is your emotional ‘yes’ reaction to temptation.
The cool system is your logical thinking system.
They need to both be considered and balanced when making a choice.
Distraction is another helpful strategy.
So we baked cookies on day 1.
Waiting for the oven to beep was hard enough.
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